Sigh. It's happened again. Yes, another human life form with Sarah Palin's genes will soon be walking--or, crawling--on this earth. Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, the illegitimately conceived lovechild of Palin's oldest daughter, Bristol, and her high school sweetheart, Levi, has popped out of the womb. While they may not hold traditional values such as marriage, intercourse after marriage, and staying in school in as high esteem as Bristol's mother claims she does, they are certainly keeping up the tradition of male Tr- names in the family. Little Tripp joins uncles Track and Trig.
I suppose we should be glad she chose this naming method as opposed to using the name her mother, Governor Palin, claims she always wanted to use, but didn't have enough kids to use: Zamboni.
I decided that with all the appearances at mass turkey killings, hockey games, births of grandchildren-out-of-wedlock, and occasional appearances doing gubernatorial things, Governor Palin and her family might want some other suggestions for future spawn names. We can only hope there will be no more but let's face it: the Palin women seem to enjoy poppin' 'em out as fast a batting machine during batting practice. So Palin Family, here you go. Here's a list to keep by the nightstand or on the fridge for whomever has a bun in the oven next. (Let's pray it ain't Willow or Piper!)
Tron. With the remake of the famous 1982 sci-fi movie currently in development, why not be ahead of the curve?
Trapper. Tell your kids your favorite piece of childhood was your trapper keeper, or that your great-great-grandfather was a famous trapper in the Yukon.
Trek. You know you're Trekkies. We all are underneath, but can't admit it.
Trump. Only if your baby comes out of the womb with a perfectly coiffed head of hair and tells Governor Palin, "You're fired!"
Tristan. Like your youngest son Trigg, it has deep seeded roots in lore.
Troy. An obvious one, but only if you think your son will look as cute as Brad Pitt did in the movie.
Travis. I hate this name, but it fits.
Tryst. Maybe this would be a good name to use for whoever gets preggers from an adulterous affair?
Trampas. I had a classmate in elementary school who was named this. It's better than tramp, don't you think, Bristol? (And better than trollop, don't you think, McCain Family?)
Trolley. You could be cute and spell it Traleigh. (Good choice if the baby was conceived in San Francisco.)
Maybe my mass of readers can make other suggestions. Gosh, and I haven't even thought yet of creative combinations which would be required if twins run in the family! Or even triplets. As for now, Palin Family, here you go. I will charge you nothing for this list. It's my gift to you. After all, you've got a new wardrobe to buy for little Tripp. That is, unless you think you can get the RNC to go on a shopping spree for you to Baby Gap?
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