Enough!

Maybe it's because I'm feeling depressed with summer coming to an end and this has left me more sad and volatile. Or maybe enough is enough and I just can't take the ignorance of Americans anymore. I love my country. I am proud to be American and am proud, for the most part, of our history. When my country had the sense to elect Barack Obama I had a renewed sense of hope that maybe many of my people had gained some sort of insight. We were making a turn and it was a turn for the better.

Apparently I'm wrong.

The health care debate is all the rage and it seem that the majority of Americans don't like the idea of government interfering. Words like "socialized medicine," "communism," and other catastrophic verbiage is being hurled. Last night while I was watching television a piece of right-wing propaganda came on the screen. Actually describing it as propaganda is probably too generous. It was 30 seconds of complete lies.

1. The commercial describes how Obama wants to "impose" "socialized medicine" on us. The word "impose" suggest that we will be forced to use this health care system. That we will have no choice. First of all, the public option that Obama is advocating is just that--an option. Second, are we all not currently being imposed? What choice do we really have now? With the costs of health care skyrocketing over the past few decades, the majority of Americans are "imposed" to use the health insurance provided by their employers which often isn't the best. They are also "imposed" to stay in careers they dislike or even jobs that are detrimental to their physical and mental health. Why? Because they need the job for the insurance. They can't afford to pay for better insurance on their own.

2. With "socialized medicine" there will be a greater demand for health care and then the government will have to ration health care. Wait--you think there isn't a great demand for health care now? Currently there is a huge demand. It's just that many folks can't afford to go and see about that broken arm, the persistent cough, or that growth on their neck because either they don't have coverage or the un-met deductible is too expensive. And God forbid if any of their ailments are considered a pre-existing condition.

3. The commercial states that under "socialized medicine" citizens will have to wait weeks, months, even years to receive treatment. Guess what? I have coverage under the great private health care system and you know what? I have tried making appointments with various specialists lately and you know what? None of them can see me for at least a month to six months out. Doesn't sound that different to "socialized medicine" to me.

4. Lastly, the worst thing about this plan is that (gasp) we will have to pay for "free healthcare" for millions of illegal immigrants.

Look, my husband is an "immigrant." We went through the proper channels. Paid the fees, signed the paperwork. Is it unfair that many get into this country without doing the same? Sure it is. But let's face some harsh realities, people. First of all, as long as there is poverty and oppression in the world people will leave their country in search of a better life in another country. If that country where there is much poverty and/or oppression borders with another country which has better opportunities, the chances of people attempting to cross the border rises. For decades our country turned a blind eye to the immigration "problem." As a result, we now have millions of illegals here. We created the problem because we did nothing to solve it.

But you know what else? Americans seem to hate having all of these illegals in our country. We claim that they are draining the economy and stealing jobs away from legal unemployed citizens. How many legal citizens do you know that are willing to clean toilets for a living? And you know the folks who do such a great job on your landscaped yard? Or the ones who keep your laundry perfectly folded and the carpet clean? A lot of 'em are illegal. Oh, and guess what? More than likely, even if your name is Smith or Johnson, somewhere in your family tree you had ancestors who illegally entered this country either by sneaking across borders or as a stowaway on a ship. So, you have those illegal aliens in your tree a thank you for allowing you to live in the greatest country in the world.

As for draining the economy, you are aware that us "legal' citizens often pay for illegals' to receive medical treatment when they end up going to an ER or urgent clinic, right? Think how much more revenue would be brought in if they were legal and could pay taxes. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. You think they'll try to sneak around paying taxes. Well, truth be told, the majority of illegals wish to become citizens and contribute to this country legally, through real paychecks, income tax, Social Security, and health insurance. With any group of people there are always those who don't wish to pay. You know, we even have some of them in our group of good hard-working legal citizens. Ever heard of Wesley Snipes, Judy Garland, Pete Rose, Leona Helmsley?

Enough!

((((E))))

It was not the news I expected to receive last Monday morning. Arriving to work, I read an e-mail notifying me that one of my dearest friends had died suddenly.

It's a weird feeling you get when you first learn news such as this. You get this sickening feeling in your stomach, followed by shortness of breath. You frown in sadness and shake your head in disbelief. At least that's what happens with me. And it isn't until the shock begins to fade slightly that utter pain and sorrow hits. It hits with a torrential downpour of sobs, tears, and runny nose. The pain and ugly reality follows you wherever you go. If forgotten for a few minutes or set aside during sleep, it's still there. No matter how hard you wish for it to all be a bad dream it isn't.

I want this writing to be about her and not me. At the same time, though, I feel that I need to write because of the catharsis my heart needs. Done is the viewing, meeting the family, the funeral. She has been buried. She is with the earth now. Now it is time to pick up and move forward. To move on without her feels so strange.

I wish I could remember what it was that made me single her out. What had she posted on the boards at heathbaby that prompted me to contact her? I can't remember. We exchanged many personal messages, e-mails. We discovered that we shared a lot in common. Aside from loving the hunky Heath Ledger, we had dreams. Unfulfilled dreams. She, too, dreamed of becoming somebody. She too loved movies, Hollywood, music, reading, and a plethora of other interests. We both believed in reincarnation. We were both lonely. We both wanted friends. That was nine years ago.

Friends is what we became. We shared things with each other that perhaps we didn't share with those in our everyday lives. Hopes, dreams, regrets, fears. Sure, there were some 500 miles separating us but we didn't let that stop us. Oh, the laughter! Sometimes there were even tears. Tears from laughing so hard, that is.

I never had a strong group of friends growing up. Either I never found people who really were enough like me or I severed the relationship when they let me down. With Elizabeth and heathbaby I had--for the first time in my life--a group of friends. They seemed to genuinely care about me and the feelings were mutual.

And E cared about me. That's what I came to call her. E. And Reb is how I was known to her. There were periods where I was so down and depressed and she was there for me. She sent me notes of encouragement. She would call and check on me. She never gave up on me.

Who was it that drove over 14 hours to come to my wedding? Even after getting lost in the Smoky Mountains and therefore missing the ceremony, she still showed up at the reception? E. I should've had her be my Maid of Honor. She should've been in my wedding. I remember her being the first person to support us as potential parents. When I mentioned how I wanted to become pregnant one of these days, she squealed and said, "Aww, you guys would make the best parents! You guys are so cute together!"

I let us grow apart a bit after that. I became preoccupied with married life and my emotional-drama-of-the-month. We chatted occasionally but not as regularly. I'm kicking myself now for this.

E was a stronger and braver person than I could ever hope to be. My husband and parents remind me of the things I've overcome but I can't imagine facing cancer. She faced that mean and merciless disease at only 13 and defeated it. She dug her heels in and moved forward in life. There were other obstacles, though. Obesity. Depression. Loneliness. Professional stagnation. Lymphedema. And most recently, one sprained ankle and another broken ankle requiring 2-4 weeks bed rest, from which blood clots formed and detached, moving to her heart.

There were many days that E called and I couldn't talk for long or I missed her call and we kept playing phone tag. I can still hear her voice mail message: "You know the game and now you're it. Leave me a message." It seems I was always too drawn up in my own frustrations and worries to stop and realize that maybe she needed more of an ear to listen than I provided. I took her for granted. I took our friendship for granted.

We had almost gotten together last summer, but plans fell through. We were hoping to see each other this year. She had talked of driving down to Georgia for a conference and I would meet her there. We would stay at my parents' house. Instead, the next time I saw her was the last time I'd see her. In a casket. The lifeless body resembled nothing of the vivacious, bubbly, smiling E I had known.

She had too much to offer. Too much love to share for her life to have ended so soon. Some of her journal writings indicated that she still had hopes of achieving some of her dreams. In true E fashion, she was not going to let obstacles impede her quest for a fulfilling life.

There has to be reincarnation. What E started in this life was not finished. She deserved better. She has to get that opportunity again in her next life. She just has to. Some believe that paths cross again in other lives. Maybe our paths had crossed in previous lives and thus our connection in this one. Oh, I hope to see her again. Whatever lies out there--a Heaven, a Summerland, another life, I hope to see you again. I wish to laugh and dance with you again.

We used to talk of the day that all of us heathbabies would get together as gray-haired, wrinkled old ladies. We would tell our sons and daughters of the fun their mommies had together. I don't see that happening now. Not without E.

If you can hear me, E....If you can hear my crying and my apologies, please know how much you meant to me. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you more. I'm sorry I took our friendship for granted. Do you know? Do you? Do you know from wherever you are right now how much I grieve and miss you? Do you know how much you meant to me and so many others? Yes, you deserved so much more than the rotten deal you were dealt. But your time here was not in vain. Never think this. For, from your time here I can say I had one truly good friend in my life. One truly, fiercely loyal friend. Someone who is an example to remember. With all the darkness and meanness which surrounded you, you still shined your light brightly. With a smile. With love.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((E))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))